Saturday, September 20, 2008
Wall Street Week in Review
Gee, I guess spending 500 billion USD is worth never having to listen to a master of the universe tell me about the religion of the free market again.
Thursday, September 04, 2008
Colbert Speech Stolen
St. Paul, Minnesota--
RNC officials refused comment this afternoon after an unnamed official indicated that the speech Sarah Palin gave last night was purloined from Steven Colbert. Colbert was said to be furious, noting that he had written the speech assuming that he would deliver it. “I was especially looking forward to talking about children other than mine,” he said, over the cup of daily dishwater he drinks to create a bond with John McCain.
As of this writing, it is not clear exactly how Palin got a copy of Colbert's speech nor why she delivered it. GOP viewers thought it was a masterstroke. Debbi “SUV Luv” Shegonigle, echoing many other delegates, said, “I think it's great having a real person deliver a fictional speech from a fictional character. Take that, reality!” Democrats were thrown off guard, as they had apparently expected a real speech. One tearful Obama supporter issued a plea: “Come back, Stephen! We'll organize a protest to put you on premium cable!”
Colbert, meanwhile, has indicated that he might be agreeable to working with the GOP despite the mishap. “If I become the official Repor,” he said, using the correct pronunciation, “and if they give me royalties on ANWR, then I think we can have something to talk about. Otherwise, those new digs in Alpine are just not enough. After all, I could be a fake Democrat too, though that would be more work. But I could pretend to pal around with Bruuuuuuuce. How cool would that be? Ball's in your court, GOP.”
RNC officials refused comment this afternoon after an unnamed official indicated that the speech Sarah Palin gave last night was purloined from Steven Colbert. Colbert was said to be furious, noting that he had written the speech assuming that he would deliver it. “I was especially looking forward to talking about children other than mine,” he said, over the cup of daily dishwater he drinks to create a bond with John McCain.
As of this writing, it is not clear exactly how Palin got a copy of Colbert's speech nor why she delivered it. GOP viewers thought it was a masterstroke. Debbi “SUV Luv” Shegonigle, echoing many other delegates, said, “I think it's great having a real person deliver a fictional speech from a fictional character. Take that, reality!” Democrats were thrown off guard, as they had apparently expected a real speech. One tearful Obama supporter issued a plea: “Come back, Stephen! We'll organize a protest to put you on premium cable!”
Colbert, meanwhile, has indicated that he might be agreeable to working with the GOP despite the mishap. “If I become the official Repor,” he said, using the correct pronunciation, “and if they give me royalties on ANWR, then I think we can have something to talk about. Otherwise, those new digs in Alpine are just not enough. After all, I could be a fake Democrat too, though that would be more work. But I could pretend to pal around with Bruuuuuuuce. How cool would that be? Ball's in your court, GOP.”
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